A Pastor’s Insecurity
Insecure leaders are incredibly difficult to follow. An insecure leader…
- Operates out of fear.
- Has a difficult time celebrating others success.
- Often compares himself or herself to others.
Carey Nieuwhof has an amazing post on 5 Signs You Are An Insecure Leader. You can check it out here (Link to post – https://careynieuwhof.com/5-signs-youre-an-insecure-leader/)
Insecurity is difficult to admit, and often even harder to see in oneself. The truth is every leader has some insecurity. Knowing this is somehow helpful. You are not alone.
My second book just came out. It was such an honor to hold a copy of it in my hands. Then I started flipping through it. Right away I started feeling insecurity. I thought, “The book is too long,” “Nobody is going to read this,” and then my favorite insecure thought was, “Francis Chan just released a similar book and it’s way better than mine.” Oh me!!!
Insecurity creeps in unexpectedly. It can happen when someone leaves your church to go to another one. It can happen when a church plant opens and within a year has more people attending than you do. It can happen when someone from your church praises another pastor on social media. It can happen when you are not sure how people are going to receive the sermon, or when you have to make a difficult decision. Insecurity is real. It happens to all of us. You are not alone. The question is can we do anything to become more secure leaders?
HOW TO BECOME MORE SECURE AS A PASTOR
- See insecurity when it happens in you. This takes some work but it is so crucial. In order to address your own insecurity, you have to see it when it pokes it’s ugly head up. Ask, “Why does this make me feel insecure?” When you wrestle with the cause you can figure out a way to overcome it.
- Empower others. In order to fight insecurity, you must commit to putting others first. It doesn’t mean you won’t succeed. In fact, it is the opposite. The fastest way to achieve success is by helping others succeed. As pastors, we should become amazing at this. After all, we should model Paul’s words found in Scripture, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
- Confide in someone safe. Not everyone can handle your insecurity. Not everyone deserves access to this part of your life. At the same time, you need someone who can pour back into you. Scripture is clear that we find healing in confessing to others (James 5:16). We find forgiveness for sins in Jesus, but we find healing for sins by confessing to other believers. Whether it’s a Christian counselor, another pastor, or a ministry coach pastors need someone safe to talk to.
- Understand your weakness. Confidence comes when we become great at what God has gifted us with. To battle insecurity, you have to be willing to push yourself to become better at what you are good at. At the same time, it’s important to raise up others to do what you are not good at. It takes great confidence to let others shine. Insecurity is when we have to know it all, do it all, and won’t let go anything.
- L Leaders are readers. Knowledge is power. Read to become the best version of yourself. Read leadership books, spiritual books, blogs, and other resources to help. I’m not disciplined enough to read on my own, so I form book clubs. A book club gives me a built-in deadline and accountability. I am currently in three book clubs. It’s been a great way for me to be a reader.
- Enjoy who God has made you to be. Negativity weighs more than positivity. As a pastor, we are often big targets for people. I’m often my toughest critic. I find when I don’t take myself so seriously I’m not as insecure. I don’t have to have all the answers. It’s okay to not know what to do. I’m not great at building things, working on cars, administration, or details. And that’s okay. God has gifted me in other areas. I want to find great enjoyment in being God’s creation. He doesn’t make junk. He has gifted you for a specific reason. Life is too short to not enjoy who God has made you to be.
We love hearing from you. What would you add to this post? What questions do you have for us?